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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
wishin to be the friction in your jeans.  lust is far too dangerous when love is constant. the best thing by far though, is to be in lusty love. ... so she brushed his hair out of his eyes. it was all about a love that should happen but can't. yearning is a big part of attraction; knowing that you can never get enough. the neck, the ears... they're so nice to gnaw on because there will always be something tantalizing about being that close to the face yet not quite there.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 9:15 PM {xoxo} Monday, April 11, 2005
feels like we're continents apart. i watch as the sun sets on the horizon with the vast ocean before me, what a charm it calls, it beckons to hug my body with its non-existent arms. so i swam as long as i could to see how far i could go. i didn't stop until it hurt, until the pain swallowed me whole. i left the world of boys, i kissed them all goodbye 3 days passed... four, five six... after what seemed an eternity, on my natural high finally, i have found land. i was frozen, i couldn't stand when someone held me up he's lovely... he kept me in his warm embrace. i felt calm, i was floating and completely relieved knowing that i survived and my heart was still in place. i look around and see all these men before me wanting to be chosen, waiting for me to set them free. they plead, the crave, they long for me saying i'm all they'll ever need. but i wont give into all these worldly temptations i wont! refuse choose out of the blue because if i do dive into this playfulness, with all my options, i'll be just like you. heck. i don't want that. if you love me... you'll go the distance. i'll wait.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 9:45 PM {xoxo}
dignity... i gaze up at you as you stand right in front of me. you show your secret smile that same smile you use... only for me. the sight of you gives me tingles. wonderful, willing, worthy... i'm mystified... you're so beautiful to me. i worshipped you with all i had. i did the unthinkable, became the detestable sort so now my soul deserts me for i sold myself short. now i'm suffering from the repercussions of a broken heart, a disturbed mind and a non-existent soul.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 4:35 PM {xoxo} Thursday, April 07, 2005
you really saw me. i mind my own business as you stared catching stolen glances by your side the sight of you made my blood pump faster, i flushed it showed, it's not something i wanted to hide. the last thing i need is another distraction when i'm trying to reach for my goals but you watch me as i touch myself, observing every action. it delights me to see your handsome grin creep with satisfaction. you found some liking in my pleasure i noticed it as your eyes never left me. you were captivated in your own disclosure for i catch you with your mouth agape. i loved the attention. i love the fact that i didn't do anything to get it. i have you hooked, you weren't ashamed because you came up and asked for my name. you jot all the information down without banter as i admire your godly features, i fall in love with the way you look. then i realize i'm just another beautiful stranger among others, listed inside your little black book. so i walk away without thinking twice you called out for me and ran to my side. i just looked at you with my sorry eyes and said just love me from afar... you'll never appreciate what i am inside. was i mistaken? or were those actual tears streaming down your face. you love me already, though it's forbidden. it's all so bitter-sweet... i'm in a daze. don't cry... especially not for me. i don't deserve it. it doesn't matter if you claim you've known me a lifetime... we just met.
leaving skool nothing to see here at 2:15 PM {xoxo} Wednesday, April 06, 2005
these walls resonate YOU. concrete barricades keep me as i sit in one corner of my room. this place used to give me the shivers now it's the only place i call home. i find solace within these walls though they imprison me behind glass doors. freedom should not be granted to thee for in total abandonment, i lost the genuine me. before you, my life was hollow but now i can't explain how i feel. everything else didn't matter, they seem so shallow so don't tell me none of this was ever real. you're so ideal. i loved you from the beginning for when i wanted to fly... you gave me your wings. so in turn, i gave you my time, my world, my being to the point there's nothing left to give. i stopped to find its inner meaning but then reality hit me... i dont know your name. i run after you and fall into an abyss... then i wake up... found myself screaming, swimming on my own with water in my lungs, saddened by the fact that it's nothing but a dream. there's no point in loving someone who doesnt exist or someone who hasn't found me yet. but i'm already losing hope, losing faith... everyday, i become more afraid. honey, please hurry. i'll give myself to you... every breathe, every sentiment... just find me. leaving skool nothing to see here at 10:35 PM {xoxo}
purpose... i watch the world around me crumble as you step on every single change i made. none of my achievements ever pleased you because they weren't for your own personal gain. i feel like a child left beaten as the bully walks away with my favorite game only this time i didn't run to punch you because i know i'll be hit harder, unable to stand. i've been an open book so i could let you in but all you did was rip my pages no i have to start all over again... pain used to make me cry now it's the only thing that gives me comfort. let my wishes be denied for i refuse to give further effort. this is my silent war. leaving skool nothing to see here at 4:45 AM {xoxo}
the soul is dead. again she goes unnoticed... they found her dead in her bed surrounded with pictures smeared with all the blood she bled, soaked too with all the tears she shed. a little note peeked as it spread from the palm of her lifeless hand... here's to all the words left unsaid, someday, somehow... you will understand. leaving skool nothing to see here at 4:05 AM {xoxo} Tuesday, April 05, 2005
pictures lie. i made my misery known just so you'd listen but each retort spat hatred in my face. i became mute, left with words unspoken waiting, painstakingly waiting for an embrace that never came. i used to make you laugh. i meant the world to you. now i'm deemed a nuisance, the broken contact lense ruining your iris' hue. you say it's for the best but you dont know anything. you put my patience to the test and i just loathe the fact that you're winning. you made me like unto thee turned me into an abominable breed so now you break me because you realize i'm no longer what you need. you take away everything i love, keep me from grasping things i hold dear with bitter lumps of charcoal above... nothing will ever be clear. leaving skool nothing to see here at 4:25 AM {xoxo}
goodbye frisbee. i found myself in a field of people that filled the air with my sweetest dreams. i found myself in a state of innocent splendor finding happiness in things that arent what they seem. it was like milk while everything else was water. it made my life a whole lot better. it was my refreshment, a source of sustenance but you stopped the flow for fear of abundance. it took me weeks to get out of this hole trying to find that certain something but you told me i can no longer have any of it... and left me lost, with nothing. i said some things that i shouldn't have said, spoke out of turn to hurt you then i realize it hurts me back the damage is done, my heart's in two knowing that i lost you. you left me broken. again, i am the fool... left wanting something only you could give... that certain something that makes me want to live. leaving skool nothing to see here at 2:45 AM {xoxo}
the wound wont heal. the silence seeps, we arent talking. being in the same room is something i cant stand. your voice bites me, now i'm bleeding as all the pleas fell on deaf ears, you said i had no right to demand. you're stubborn. you won't take heed. i guess that's one thing we have in common... because i spawned from your seed. leaving skool nothing to see here at 2:05 AM {xoxo} Friday, January 28, 2005
kissing the sun. you dont have to know. i dont want it out. dont tell me how you feel.. or what you think of me. i dont care... i choose not to. i dont want to know. it's better this way... just let me love you. leaving skool nothing to see here at 9:25 PM {xoxo} Wednesday, January 26, 2005
idiocy causes pride. i want answers.
i long for knowledge, wisdom. all will end in vain... i know. because i never asked. i dont think i ever will. leaving skool nothing to see here at 4:25 AM {xoxo} |
 i like goin out with friends and traveling.. you cant expect me to stay in one place for a long time. i'm a soccer player and i'm 16 yrs old. i have a cd collection and i love music. 
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